My writing process in bullet points

• Check calendar and realize a new novel is due in 4-5 months. Panic ensues.
• Sit down to start writing with nothing: no outline, no idea. Try not to cry.
• Check calendar, book due date looks suspiciously closer.
• With shaking hands, begin to write, write, and write. Know most of the words are no good but try not to dwell on that.
• Hit page one hundred and experience mid-manuscript crisis. Lament to friend about the awfulness of book.
• Meet with friend for an intervention. Repeat same conversation with friend that we have over every single book.

Me: I have no idea what this book is about. I can’t do this.

Friend: You say that about every book.

Me: I know, but this time, it’s true. It’s going to kill me. I have no creative thoughts left.

Friend: You say that about every book.

Me: Oh wait, I know how to fix it! But oh no, this is a major rewrite. It will take forever. I’m doomed.

Friend: You say that about every book.

• Recover from pity party, and finish rough draft. Book is now due in three months.
• Dance around with glee. Eat a cupcake to celebrate.
• Give self 48 hours off from book.
• Start first revision. Beat head on desk over the jagged prose. Decide to completely rewrite the ending.
• Finish first revision. Start to enjoy the process.
• Give self 24 hours off from book.
• Start second revision. Start to hate the novel less.
• Give to beta reader.
• A week later, get the novel back from beta with comments and incorporate those comments into manuscript.
• Send book to agent. Book is now due in six weeks.
• 3-4 weeks later, get book back from agent and incorporate her comments into manuscript. Start to think the book isn’t that bad.
• Email book to editor.
• Dance around with glee. Eat cupcake to celebrate.
• Check calendar and realize a new novel is due in 4-5 months. Panic ensues.